Then he will realize that it is HE who did YOU wrong by leaving you…AND EVENTUALLY will come back, and when he does, you have worked on and improved yourself so much without him in your life, that you are again the very person he was attracted to in the beginning of your first relationship…wiTh HIM. I told him I’m sorry he’s too afraid or hurt to allow himself to be happy with me because he’s a good person and deserves to be happy. I wake up. 8 months after ghosting I get a friend request from him on social media. See each other 2/3 times a month. Few days later I get this seemingly sincere apology and how he missed me being his “friend”. I hear that they push people away and shut them out and are very short with them, but if any guy out there could possibly relate…I would really appreciate the insight. He also had pressures of paying off his parents house and debt as they had retired and then his best mate had convinced him just recently to buy a bar. I just said thank you. I have to admit that although I’m somewhat of an expert when it comes to depression, I have not experienced seeing many men with depression and I know that they do tend to deal with it differently than women do. Started out 24 years ago we became friends grade school. I had been single for over 3 years and celibate for almost 2 before he came into the picture and he was chivalrous (asked me on a date), so I decided he may be worth a shot. It’s a basic motivation, but it’s often easier for him to seduce someone he’s already been with than someone new. From your comment it sounds like you haven’t really spoken to him– but if you decide to, it makes sense that you would ask what happened. Thanks for your post it really helped???? His girlfriend moved to Australia in November for a year and so I thought that things would get better when this happened, it did for a while but not for long. This is particularly likely if you’ve gone no contact with him or have been ignoring his communication. We text and talk daily. He had this ex though. He is the opposite of above never drank at all. He said he would be back home soon and that he loved me and misses me but I already knew they were all lies. At first he was so keen about me and shows he’s interested. He needs to see the consequences of his actions and he can’t do this if he is fighting with you. Then 2 days after that (On the Saturday) he woke up, and he was in a mood again. No. Do you think there’s hope for him to come back or did he plainly lose interest? I made a mistake and went on a txt message binge. Why? He wanted a family wanted to be with me wanted to finally have the perfect woman. i married the love of my life 7 months ago and everything seemed so perfect…up until 16 April this year. Says he’s hurt and he needs a friend. He just said “it is simple. He replied, I already cancelled..I IMMEDIATELY called him to get no response and left him a VM telling him I can take a hint, have a nice life. Once again some of the text he sent me were always lies and lies and always putting me down. Night time, no call. Afternoon, no call. I already lost him. I asked what kind of games was he playing and he responded that he wanted to be done. He told me he did not have to justify his reasons to me and hung up. I’m just lost and venting. I went silent since our last contact which was a week ago and not planning to initiate contact again. Love isn’t lying around everywhere, so I urge you to at least hear him out. I finally blocked him again. I am praying for his growth and my heart’s restoration and strength, but I am still hurt and confused by this. He agreed he thought things were going somewhere and apologized stating after my last comment about being hurt he supposedly thought I was not wanting to talk to him anymore, a long with him being out of town for awhile for work and his crazy schedule (he does work 80 plus hours a week sometimes) so apprehensively I went to dinner we had an amazing time and he treated me great just like always (if I even try to open my own car door he stops me runs around and opens it) he made the comment when I tried to help pay for dinner that that’s an insult and it’s his job to take care of me. We started talking again and and hanging out as friends, it was like we never stopped. It sounds like there’s definitely potential that he may want to revisit things down the road. But I’m sitting here like now what? We are 23 and will be 24 very soon and he just broke up with me saying he got bored with always hanging out with me, even though he says I’m not boring, and just said that he wanted to try new things and new adventures that aren’t exactly sexual. So I believed him. Nothing new was said other than to give him a chance to fix things between us. and how can he just toss me aside like trash like that? So what happened? What seemed the perfect match turned out to be shallow words and a nightmare. Remember i have known him so I know how he is. The next day he sent me som messages about casual everyday things – like when we used to text – but I didn’t really reply because it hurt me so much and because I love him. We talked every day. He’s a couple years younger than me.. think he still has some growing up to do.. what’s your best advice? I ask him what he doing had a few words and he left. It was literally only for 5 days but it was really effecting me. A week later, I walk into a restaurant to retrieve a to-go order and there he is sitting with this exact same ex. It’s like,“gah, I just stopped thinking about him! We started doing things together when we could and it was great, or at least I thought it was. He never actually gave a single fuck about me whatsoever and threw me away like garbage. The first one I replied and simply said I'm fine and left it at that, the 2nd time I ignored. With all this going on I asked him where I was in this as a priority because he was stressed and needed to pull back on our time together, when I asked for reassurance I was getting shitty with him all the time he couldn’t spend time with me, fair enough it was a bit much for two weeks but for the entire relationship I was happy go lucky and we have a great time together. We started talking and a month later he asked me to be his girlfriend. Telling me he’s sorry, asking about my life, ect. Next, be as polite to him as you can be and don’t do any serious talk about the relationship anymore. 11 months after he ghosted me. We were friends first as he is one of my best friend’s brother. Couple months go by he texts me he sorry and loves me and didn’t know why he emailed her cuz he loves me. I did, and it confirmed the pregnancy. You Win Your Power Back. My situation seems similar to everyone’s here but I’ve never been so confused in my life. Bullshit right? When he said the boyfriend thing I was like ok thanks for the honesty. I then start fishing for a real commitment. Tell me your thoughts in the comment section below. He mentioned when we were together that he doesn’t feel like I’m being open to him about my personal business and also that he doesn’t know how to talk to me or what to say in conversation. We went away and did things, and always laughed and talked a lot..He’s had 2 serious relationships in his life before me, one he got married in, the other he had his 2 sons with. That being said, I completely understand how frustrating it is when guys say and do things that don’t line up. From this analysis, she might decide to increase the rate of conversation so as to get back together, or she just wanted to know if … He shared with me that ALL of his past girlfriends never fully appreciated all that he did. You are a truly good woman, and don’t deserve the hurt you have suffered. I thought maybe he was having a bad night or was upset about something else. To me it does seem like a breadcrumb, I would tread carefully. Any advice? My ex just texted me today and I am completely shocked. I like reading all the comments because we can all somehow relate to this. On 11th of April, I called him at work and I was frantic, hysterical and got all crazy on him. He shared his whole past and present with me. I really hate the thought of going through the same bs but in the end I realized that I should have stood my ground earlier at times. A sign your ex is teasing you is if he communicates with you, you respond, and he drops the communication completely all of a sudden. And also never use sex to get the man. And he replied saying he is fine, just so busy at work. I’m like wtf? Followed me 30 min away from my house cuz I was in a truck. Super nice looking guy my age divorced with sons. Called me 27x from a blocked number since he was blocked from my phone. I’m so tired of explaining my story and never getting a response, so I hope I get one here..My ex and I are both almost 47. Stage 4 alcoholism. He ignored you for a month and now wants to talk. We go good for a while after that then he has a hobby weekend, I’m not going with had something I had to do at home. Keep in mind that no matter why he came back months later, it’s best to take a wait and see approach with him– especially if you liked him the first time around. I know you don’t want to do this either, but you need to look into filing and do it soon before he gets someone else pregnant or does something irreparable that will make it harder to divorce him. He ended up blocking me on all social media and his phones, but proceeded to contact me a couple of times like nothing ever happened. What reason could she possibley have to want to talk to me now? His mum sent us a group message and was being rude so I said something to him and he literally snapped at me for no reason. Met a guy, long distance. But ask yourself…do you want to involve yourself with a man who is uncertain that he wants to begin a relationship with you? You may still be wrecking your own head about this 6 months down the line but you’ll find after 9 months maybe you’re over it a tiny bit more, 12 months you’re still having your moments occasionally and 18 months you’ll be glad you got kicked to the curb. This happens most after a long-term relationship falls apart. I finally got tired of everything about him and finally blocked him out. After the initial 6 months, the number of dumpees getting contacted by their exes started descending. Thank you! Do you have any idea what he was thinking? If you want to reply then go for it, if not, then that’s up to you. A month goes by and I see a post on his fb pg that says “had such a great time can’t wait for u to come back. I signed up for your news letter just now ???? A couple weeks after New Years he texts me and I text back. If you want him back too… reuniting with him can be in your future. He did not have any explanation, did not apologize and probably ended up leaving the restaurant with her because after I approached him and asked her what was going on and not getting any answers, I left to avoid getting into an altercation. If I was in your shoes I’d be cordial but not very talkative. I ended up selling & moving out of country. Yeah that is a good idea but because he lives so far away it can be difficult in terms of dating him. i even wrote a lot of fanfictions for fun as well as make a new youtube channel and post comics in the form of videos. He finds out starts a fight with me the next day emails her telling her he loves her and how he was gonna marry her and propose to her. No matter how bad it ends, eventually they will get bored, curious, lonely, ego boost or horney. He just looked at me. We were 100% compatible, he liked what I liked and hated what I hated, we shared the same interests, he wanted everything I wanted out of life and didn’t want what I never wanted. I am currently divorcing my husband and he knows that. Was same guy. He even sent me a message back in October to never leave him and I look back now and I’m like what the hell?! I know I’m an amazing girlfriend and his friends told him all the time not to screw it up, as well as his mother. I’ll just wait for him to grow up and come back to me. Haven't talked/seen them for 6 months but we dated for about 4 months. we truly were happy and I have him all the freedom in the world but he still felt trapped and scared of the marriage. I’m sorry but you just described it as typical male behavior, as my previous two ex’s broke up with me for the exact same reason and they were female. You are not alone and you will be okay. i was happy before he messaged me too. We were connected at the hip for about 11 years prior to the breakup, including one year of the “getting to know you” phase. I am afraid of the new girl, I am afraid that due to his stubbornness he will never come back, I’ve lost half of my heart.He has been in touch since, we even had to share a room during a company conference. Mentally this guy is still a child. I don’t try and talk to him since he hadn’t initiated anything with me. After you think through how your ex's text makes you feel, maybe you'll realize that it's nothing more than a little annoyance to help you recognize how over him you actually are. in the final 2 months of that year, he never contacted me anymore. My ex hasn't contacted me in 6 months - I haven't heard from my ex in 6 months. But I was upset ok?). The relationship was great. I started some trips around the country and he liked my pics/sent me some short messages. Also your progress will not be linear. And even if he did, I spent more than 2 months alone and scared and broken and crying myself to sleep. To cut the story short, after that last meeting we had, he went on a trip again which he told me about. Any advice? I love your self confidence. However, if you do reply I’d say take your time, leave it a day or two, allow yourself time to think of a reply. During these 3 weeks we spoke a few times and he used pet names, told me he missed me and did at times get flirty/sexual. Don’t worry about how long it takes him to circle back around, since he seems to continue to do that. I asked him why and he says he doesn’t know why but he loves me so much that he doesn’t want to give me up. After a while I just stopped. if i’m thinking i am being pranked by whosoever). One day out of nowhere he makes this confession he has pictures of me. And I’m the best for him. Next day I give in. He would randomly send direct messages on my birthday or to compliment my beauty or to place an order (I am a treat artist), but I just say thanks and brush it off. Just sincere closure. But we made a lot of future plans together. After 6 months of you telling me you love me and overnight you’re just done with me? If you’re interested in speaking again then I’d say reply. Love blocks are sneaky mindsets that are getting in your way of manifesting the kind of devoted, close relationship you want and deserve. If and truly IF you EVER have a shot at getting your ex back, OR simply FINDING OUT WHY he did what he did you need MONTHS (NOT weeks…or A Month) MONTHS of no contact! I have no idea. I didn’t deny that I loved that night with him as I’m sexually attracted to him too…but I kept going with my travels as any backpacker. Are a few minutes of your day worth attracting love? I mean dang, I was the one held his damn hand through his addiction problem. But seriously? The percentage fluctuated at around 3.3% per month until the “years later” mark. with the lawyer and had to re-live the whole accident again..he doesn’t want to ever be w/o me blah blah..Fast fwd to Monday, and it’s over, he has to much stress, too much on his mind..blah blah..So that was almost 2 months ago..Once a week since I would reach out and get no response..Just a hi and smile at work. You want to get her back, but you’re afraid she’ll lose interest again. He then left and went to his dads, and I went to my parents. For closure I assumed he died ( I had no option…I really hated him for that). Besides I have no right to demand, right? I was intent of moving on. I decided to reach out with a text, and he text me how he will do anything to have me in his arms every night and he was so sorry, but he had an appt. The next morning I told him I could see myself marrying him. Last week out of the blue he friended me on social media and I waited a few days to accept. Smelling ny hair , kissing my forehead.. was it all about sex and boredome? I didn’t want to here sorry I just wanted answers I just wanted to know why it ended so fast and so easily if I even meant anything to him why he thought he wasn’t good enough for me and thinking he was a piece of shit when all I saw was a perfect being with potential to grow into a better person.. THAT guy (you know, the one who rocks you world and you miss like crazy) only reaches out to you once a month. In the meantime he will treat all the new woman like crap because of what he did to you and got away with. He started to tell me how he needed sex and couldn’t handle commitment. I didnt know!! Please, please, PLEASE don’t let anything take away from that. No fights. It’s easy for us to judge people who leave us under baffling circumstances as being fools who couldn’t appreciate something good, but when people aren’t used to good relationships, they sabotage them because good is not what they expect and not what they’re used to. The “stupid” ex is always reachable – that’s what he thinks. He never told me of course. I’m 18 years old and I’ve basically known this guy for 4 years now. I really appreciated reading this today. and maybe that’s for the best. That Sat. I figure what do I have to lose at this point. Says he jumped in to quick and didn’t know what he wanted. I took a huge hit to my self esteem, and I questioned my judgment. We met and he told me he cared about me and despite him texting he didn’t really have feelings for me , when we met, he said that he got feelings when he saw me and he liked being with me. And as this has been going on for 4 months now, will things ever change to how they used to be? When together, all the sparks you could ever want. He also deleted his email and de-activated his phone number. By splendidcafe, 9 years ago on Breaking up. The only reason why she can’t find out is because if she does she will restrict his access to letting him see his daughter and maybe press charges to when they were together and had a domestic violent dispure. We went on a few dates. That’s a great instinct. I maintained ex-girlfriend compliance by not communicating with him again. Moving slow. But that doesn’t stop me sometimes of hoping, that maybe, just maybe one day, someday, he will wake up and it will hit him. Also, if you were to not reply that would definitely leave a big statement as actions speak louder than words. He wasn’t in it for the sex because trust me, there was none. I haven’t heard from him in two days. I had gone thru a crazy divorce before I met him and he was in theory a lot of what I was looking for. why so much attachment?” he admitted he liked me and had fun talking to me. This also happens with family members, acquaintances you haven’t seen for a while, etc. It was just one night and it was amazing, hard to explain with words. Kept asking him what was wrong and he just said he’s really tired and he really don’t want to go to work. I listened to him sincerely and thought that I WAS going to give him a different experience. Dont be blind in feelings of love. In the grand scheme of things, 4 days is really, REALLY short. We’ve done this before when we were 18 freshman yr in college and broke up to experience that life. They always come back and silence is the best curiousity for someone like him. I was really interested in my professor in university (masters)and we spoke briefly but all within the context of academia and nothing much; when i tried to show a little bit more interested he was not very receptive and the semester ended and we stopped all contact. 2 months later, out of the blue I received pretty loaded emotional text using an endearing name for me, saying he genuinely cares to check in…i didn’t reply…was this his way of letting me know he is thinking about me? I don’t want to get him out of my life by blocking him out of it despite what has been going on and what he’s done to me. I’ve known this guy for several years. My ex lived in town here near me. I just don’t know how long will I wait for him to come back. I respected his need for space and never contacted him after that. You aren’t sure what to do even though you actually want to talk to him. Had a relationship for 8 years out of nowhere he just stopped calling and spending the night.6 months later he shows up but I was unable to see him. I’m not sure what you mean about never having gotten a response– I’m not seeing anything else from you either in the comment section or my email, so if I accidentally missed something else, please accept my apology. He hasn’t called or texted it has been 5 days. I’m thinking of writing him a closure letter and letting him know he can’t do this to me. I want adult answers. I wouldn’t ever give in. Hi Chris, Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago, after a month of no contact he reached out to meet up and we met three weeks later cause I was busy. No calls no texts. I tried to convince him about us but he shut me down. I have that little bit of stupid hope saying that he may come back back to how he used to be but I know that it’s probably going to be unlikely. I did not know his “secret”. Has your guy come back months later? 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